Winter Film Guide: February 2012

So I am a little late but I do have this February film guide in case you’ve been completely lost about what’s coming out this month. As with January, there are only a few that I would really want to check out and a few that I will avoid at all costs.

• Chronicle – This is the first movie of the year that I’m actually super interested in seeing. It seems like people aren’t really catching on to the hype but the trailer really intrigued me off the bat and I still am dying to know more. Then I saw this string of tweets and my expectations grew exponentially:

• Big Miracle – Oh wow, does this look awful. I just don’t even understand – but I do love Dylan’s rant about the logistics of this movie. I don’t understand why John Krasinski and Kristen Bell, who I adore, are even in this. I mean Kristen Bell does love animals so I can see why she might get involved but why John, why? (I’m really concerned about this obviously.)
• The Woman in Black – Read my review here.

• Journey 2: The Mysterious Island – This whole time I’ve been like what was Journey 1? Is this really a sequel or just a play on “2”/”to”? But Rob confirmed that this is a sequel to Journey to the Center of the Earth, the Brendan Fraser joint. Let’s be honest, I am not the target audience for this movie, but anyone who loves Dwayne Johnson wiggling his pecs will be lining up to see this one.
• Star Wars: Episode 1 (3D) – Will Star Wars fanboys really freak out for this? I thought the general thought was that no “real” fan likes Episodes 1-3. But I wouldn’t know because I haven’t seen any Star Wars movies ever. Oops.
• The Vow – Another Channing Tatum romantic drama ala Nicholas Sparks. Lindsay and I have extensively discussed how these are not the right roles for the only slightly talented Tatum, who works much better in comedies. Case in point: how he actually looks pretty fitting in 21 Jump Street. But every girl I went to high school with has been expressing on facebook how excited they are to see this so I’m sure it will do just fine.
• Safe House – The trailer looked just okay and then the Watch the Throne track “No Church in the Wild” started and I got so pumped for this movie. You do not understand. This was an excellent choice in trailer music but it remains to be seen whether this Ryan Reynolds/Denzel Washington crime thriller will be fun or completely underwhelming like 2010’s The Next Three Days and 2009’s Law Abiding Citizen (I completely mixed those two up at first).

• Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance – Like why though? Even the new directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (Crank, Gamer, Jonah Hex) have a weak track record with their films which doesn’t help with expectations for this. Anyone out there really ready to give this a chance?
• This Means War (on Tuesday) – Chris Pine and Tom Hardy fight over …….Reese Witherspoon. I don’t hate her by any means but I also don’t see her in this role at all. Also starring Chelsea Handler who is just not an actress no matter how hard she tries. It’s directed by a dude who goes by McG (how have I never heard of this douchebaggery before?) who brought us …. Charlie’s Angels. Thanks a lot McG. And it’s produced by …Will Smith. This just screams hot mess to me.
• The Secret World of Arrietty – This is a Japanese animated film from the acclaimed Hayao Miyazaki (Ponyo, Howl’s Moving Castle, Spirited Away). I haven’t seen any sort of advertising for this film but Miyazaki does have a strong following. I’ve never seen any of his films but have heard him praised lots.

• Act of Valor – This movie is actually a military recruitment video that someone thought was good enough for theaters. So basically people are going to pay money to see a recruitment video for the Navy. It all sounds fishy to me but I am sort of curious about how movie-quality it is. Most of the cast are real Navy SEALs and it was never intended to be distributed in this way before Relativity Media picked it up. I imagine that it is like an extended commercial like you mostly see for the National Guard.
• Good Deeds – I refuse to call this Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds. How pompous can you be? Or do his movies require mentioning either his name or Madea in order to get people out in theaters? Oh but good news people, this is only the first of the THREE Tyler Perry movies coming out this year!
• Wanderlust – Paul Rudd and Jen Aniston get naked. Oh, and of course Malin Akerman. It also includes the comeback of Melissa Joan Hart. But really, it’s written and directed by David Wain so I will go into this with a completely open mind no matter how corny the trailer looks. And Wanderlust is just a really cool word anyway.
• Gone – Amanda Seyfriend plays a maybe crazy girl convinced her sister was kidnapped by Seyfried’s former abductor. Sounds pretty interesting on paper but the trailer gives me the feeling this movie won’t feel particularly fresh. This abduction scenario reminds me that you should watch The Disappearance of Alice Creed.