I love Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean’s Eleven. Loosely based on the Rat Pack-starring 1960 film (that Nick inexplicably loves), Soderbergh managed to create that rarest of marvels, a remake that far exceeds the original, and what is in my opinion a pretty damn perfect film that never fails to entertain me. Regardless of how much I do still enjoy the sequels, Ocean’s Twelve and Ocean’s Thirteen, it’s difficult to argue that they are in any way comparable to that first film. What they do have, though, is the same team, and that’s what we’re talking about today. Across the three films there’s a total of thirteen key members to the Ocean heist gang, not counting the bit-players and more minor characters, and here’s my run-down of the worst to the best.
#13 / Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle)
Don Cheadle is great. All films should use him and those that already feature him should do so even more. But Basher Tarr is insufferable, and the bottom of this list for pretty much one reason – that accent. He’s comically cockney far more than Dick van Dyke ever was, and if there’s one way to instantly make me hate a character, it’s to make them British for no reason other than it gives the actor a chance to use a truly terrible accent. Sorry Cheadle, as much as I enjoy your bleep-filled re-introduction in Ocean’s Twelve, you have to be the bottom here.
#12 / Yen (Shaobo Qin)
Yen’s contribution to the team is his acrobatic skills, which are by no means in question, but his lack of a grasp of the English language severely hinders much of a character emerging from his performance. As an integral member of Ocean’s gang he’s probably in the top three for being able to perform feats none of the others are able to, but character-wise there’s just not enough there.
#11 / Tess Ocean (Julia Roberts)
Tess never wanted to be in the gang. The only reason she’s here was because she got dragged in to save Danny and the others at the end of Ocean’s Twelve, and she didn’t even return for Thirteen, thus she’s automatically low on the list. What guarantees her ranking though is the truly farcical nature of the con in which she pretends to be Julia Roberts. Utter nonsense, and the main reason everyone normally craps all over part Twelve.
#10 / Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia)
I’ve not seen Andy Garcia much outside of this trilogy, and I guarantee whatever else I see him in I’m going to hate him, whether I’m supposed to or not. Terry Benedict is such an oily, smooth, detestable villain throughout this series, and Garcia pulls it off so well, that it’ll probably transcend these films into everything else he’s been involved with. He’s an effective villain for parts one and two, but is required to bankroll the team’s endeavours for part three, and even takes an active role in the con, allowing George Clooney the greatest eye roll in recent years of trailers.
#09 / Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould)
Similarly to Yen, Reuben doesn’t get a great deal to do in the films other than be an eccentric multi-millionaire, but he’s played by Elliott Gould and has a frankly ridiculous wardrobe, so he earns a higher spot.
#08 / Turk Malloy (Scott Caan)
Ah, the Malloy brothers, fulfilling the relatives-of-more-famous-actors slots required for these kinds of films (fortunately Jake Busey and Jim Belushi were otherwise engaged). I’ve got a lot of time for these two, being required to undertake the many odd-jobs and random tasks required for the elaborate illegal affairs being conducted, and bickering amongst themselves the whole time.
#07 / Virgil Malloy (Casey Affleck)
Virgin pips his brother to the post by virtue of being something of a nerd and therefore an underdog beneath his brother’s more domineering presence. And he uses robots, and grows a sick moustache.
#06 / Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison)
Speaking of nerds, the team’s resident tech guy is the oft-neglected Livingston Dell, as played by Eddie Jemison. He’s often forgotten mainly because Jemison hasn’t exactly set the world alight with his acting career since, but I really appreciate how much he contrasts with almost every other member of the team, from dress sense to confidence and ability to handle tense situations. He’s fine joking around during the heist rehearsals, but in the real thing he understands there’s no time to mess around.
#05 / Frank Catton (Bernie Mac)
The main inside man, Frank worked as a croupier for Benedict in part one and was one of the most important aspects of that con. Mac was always entertaining and added a touch of flavour to anything he appeared in, which makes it all the sadder that he is no longer with us. His segment of the first Transformers movie is still my favourite, too.
#04 / Danny Ocean (George Clooney)
The leader of the gang, Danny is arguably the most important member, because without him the gang wouldn’t even exist in the first place, but in terms of actually getting stuff done he’s not the most productive person in the world. He lets his personal history get in the way of the overall plan, which is a personal vendetta to begin with, it just so happens to be one that results in large sums of money for all those taking part. One thing you can say about Danny is he’s always willing to put himself front-and-centre in spite of any dangers to his own well-being, and he’s played by the suavest man in perhaps all of history.
#03 / Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon)
As the group’s newest and youngest member, Linus is a good all-rounder who excels at his pickpocketing skills. Amongst the introductions to the group in Ocean’s Eleven his involves one of my favourite shots, lifting an item from a mark’s pocket on a subway train in a fluid motion in keeping with the train’s jostling. For large sections of these films he is not only the lead but also the audience’s way into the good-guy-criminal lifestyle. Damon has always been a solid screen presence, and here he proved he could be a team-playing part of an ensemble too.
#02 / Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner)
The greatest undercover con-man in the business, Saul Bloom is always a joy to behold, especially as the characters he plays always seem to be living some kind of a high life, requiring everyone to bow to his every whim. Aged almost 80 when the first film was released and 85 for part three he’s easily the oldest member of the group, but that doesn’t hold him back in terms of his wit or contribution, other than getting to pull a Brad Dexter for Ocean’s Twelve. Reiner, who also directed classics like The Jerk and Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, is amongst my favourite aspects of these films. It was a genius move of Soderbergh’s to vary the range of the members of his team, and casting Reiner was an inspired choice.
#01 / Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt)
There’s a scene in Ocean’s Twleve where the gang are all asked if they have a problem, who do they turn to, with the intention being they will answer Danny, but it’s very telling that almost everyone replies “Rusty”. He’s not the leader, he’s the guy just behind the leader who is actually getting everything done. It’s become legend that Brad Pitt eats in almost every scene of this film to highlight just how busy Rusty is that he doesn’t get a chance to sit down for a meal, which is a touch that misses you on the first go around but becomes evident to the point of farce the more you watch it. Pitt, who I’ll happily watch in anything, even gets a chance to show up Clooney’s TV career by hamming it up as an over-the-top doctor in one scene. So whilst I appreciated Livingston for understanding there’s sometimes no time for jocularity during the con, Rusty is so smooth, so skilled and so on top of everything that he is able to maintain his professionalism whilst having fun simultaneously, and that’s why he’s number one.
Do you agree? Have I been too unfair on Cheadle? Too lenient on Jemison? Should I even have included Roberts and Garcia? Let us know in the comments!
