Directed by Philip Ridley, Starring: Jim Sturgess, Clémence Poésy and Noel Clarke
Heartless (2009)


What’s It About?

“The plot blurb on IMDB reads: Jamie Morgan, a young man with a large heart-shaped birthmark on his face, discovers that there are demons on the streets of East London.”


What We Thought:
Nick: Since moving to New Orleans, I got a little side tracked from film. I went out exploring the city a lot and even put my Netflix account on hold. Scary, I know. Well, I finally am getting back into film and making it a serious hobby; so serious in fact that I joined the New Orleans Film Society. One of the many privileges of being a member is that I get to see a free movie screening every Thursday. And it works out great because that particular theater happens to be across from where I work. The only downside is I don’t get to pick the film I see, the Society does. It works in my favor sometimes because I recently got to see I Love You Phillip Morris AND Black Swan for free. Other times it doesn’t. This is one of those times.

I rarely shit on movies. It’s not my style. I feel like every movie has something great to offer whether it be a new way to shoot a scene, special effects, or even a plot device. Heartless has nothing. The plot blurb on IMDB reads: Jamie Morgan, a young man with a large heart-shaped birthmark on his face, discovers that there are demons on the streets of East London. Yep. You read that right. Demons. So I was expecting some spooks and jumps. Got nothing. I was expecting some cool special effects. Nope, they were all out. What did I get? A pouty Jim Sturgess that had no substance and couldn’t decide which emotion he wanted to convey.  The movie was a convoluted mess with no meaning or message. So why write this review Nick? Why waste our time shitting on a movie? It’s not so much a waste as it is a warning. Don’t waste your time on this movie. I know we all enjoy going to Blockbuster or our Netflix queue and adding what looks like a solid horror movie. This is not it. And it’s not even a its-so-bad-its-good movie. It’s a waste of every ones time. Just like this review.

FTS SCORE:

0%
0-19% = TURD.